liz writes open letter to a beast...Bonus memorable quotes included!

Dear "Jane", (name changed, because liz knows murder is always an option)

Thanks for taking the time to visit CS yesterday. I'm so glad we finally had an opportunity to meet in person. You have no idea how much liz wanted to scratch your eyes out.

You see, the last time we spoke was during an irrate phone call from you the Saturday night before Easter in which you yelled at me repeatedly to ASK the builder what they would accept.
(liz would like to remind you to always take your medication.)

Now that I think of it, you even spelled it out for me a few times. A S K. I appreciated that. After all, that was a mighty big word for you to be using in your tramp voice. Besides, you probably thought liz was distracted since it was right in the middle of a holiday dinner. I thought of saving you some leftovers but the meats would have spoiled by now. On second thought, I should have saved you an entire ham with all the fixings.

Well as it turns out, that community you yelled about back then is now sold out and no one had to behave like a spoiled beast to get the job done.

Warmly,
liz

Other memorable quotes from Jane's visit yesterday:

Jane: (immediately upon entering the model): "Who are you?!"
liz: (seated behind desk, feeling fabulous): I'm liz. And you must be the town slut.

Jane: Is the builder negotiable?
liz: No Jane. The builder wants to hold onto these claptraps forever, even if the bank calls in the loan tomorrow.

Jane: Are they going to build in that large grassy field over there?
liz: No. That's where you'll be buried after the killing spree is complete.

Jane: I already spoke to the manager.
liz: You filthy whore.